Why Your Baby Still Isn’t Opening Wide — And What to Try Next
When your baby won’t open wide to latch — no matter what you try — every feed can feel disheartening. You know a wide-open mouth and a chin-first cue are the keys to a better latch… but you can’t figure out why it’s not happening.
The good news? There’s always a reason — and it’s not because you’re doing it wrong.
Some babies are just trickier, or have underlying issues that make it harder for them to gape as wide as you need for a deep latch that actually feels good. Once you uncover what’s getting in the way, feeding starts to feel easier.
In this blog, we’ll go deeper. I’ll walk you through the most common barriers that can block your baby’s gape reflex — so you can start to recognize what’s really happening and what you can do to help you get the deep latch you're looking for.
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If you don’t know what the gaping reflex is or haven’t tried chin-first positioning yet, start here first.
Always Remember: Your Baby Will Open Wide If They Can
If you’ve already tried the basics and things still aren’t working, it’s completely understandable to feel frustrated — or even totally defeated.
There’s a false narrative around infant feeding: that parents are supposed to just know what to do or instantly understand what’s happening. That’s simply not true.
Some babies — and some bodies — are just harder than others. That doesn’t mean you can’t help your baby open wide. It just means it may take more investigation to understand why it’s still an issue.
Because if your baby could open wide, they would. Babies aren’t lazy or stubborn — they’re doing the best they can in the moment.
Your job is to figure out what’s making it harder for them right now. When they can open wide, they will.
In this section, I’ll walk you through the five most common barriers that can block the gape reflex.
Think of this stage as collecting clues so you can better understand your baby’s “why” — and know what to do next.
Barrier 1: Positioning That Blocks Reflexes
The most common reason I see babies struggle to open wide — even if their chin is planted — comes down to positioning.
For a baby to really gape, their head needs the freedom to move. But many of us are taught to hold newborns as if they’re fragile, instead of recognizing them as strong little humans with built-in reflexes designed to help them feed.
The result? Sometimes the way we hold them accidentally skips or blocks those reflexes — making latching feel harder than it has to be.
The pictures below show the difference:
Supporting Reflexes: A hand under the head gently supports the weight, while a hand behind the shoulders helps guide the baby. The chin plants, the gape reflex triggers, and the mouth opens wide.
Supporting Reflexes: A hand under the head gently supports the weight, while a hand behind the shoulders helps guide the baby. The chin plants, the gape reflex triggers, and the mouth opens wide.
Blocking Reflexes: A hand directly behind the head limits movement, pushing the chin down. If the nipple is also placed into the mouth, key reflexes are skipped — leading to a shallow, pinchy latch.
The good news: If you’ve been taught to hold your baby this way, it isn’t your fault — it’s what most parents are shown. And often, just a small shift in hand placement or support is all it takes to unlock your baby’s reflexes and help them open wide more easily.
Barrier 2: Rushing Through the Gape
You’ve given the right cue — chin first — but the next step is just as important: waiting for your baby to respond and open wide.
This is where many parents get tripped up, because it’s hard to be patient. If you put your nipple in as soon as you see mouth movement — especially if that’s how you were taught — you may interrupt the reflex before it finishes. As soon as the nipple touches the lips or mouth, sucking takes over and the gape gets cut short. The result? A shallow, pinchy latch.
The trick is simple: pause for a second or two and let the gape finish before guiding your baby on.
Getting chin contact sends the signal to the brain to gape.
Getting chin contact sends the signal to the brain to gape.
Pausing a few seconds gives the muscles a chance to respond.
If you pause and your baby immediately sucks your nipple in before you can position them — or they get upset quickly — that’s actually useful information. It usually means their “window” is short, and with those babies you’ll need a few latch modifications to make timing work better.
If you pause and your baby still doesn’t open very wide — or if they gape differently on one side than the other — that points to a different barrier: tension in the body. And that’s what we’ll look at next.
Barrier 3: Tension Is Shutting Down Gaping
If it’s hard to picture how body tension affects the mouth, try this: clench your fists and arms all the way up to your shoulders — then see how wide you can open your mouth.
Not so easy, right?
Tension anywhere in the body stiffens everything else, and that tightness makes it harder for your baby to move freely — especially their jaw.
Babies can carry tension for lots of reasons. Sometimes it’s something deeper, like body discomfort or feeding challenges. Other times, it’s simply hunger and frustration building up before a feed.
Here’s the key: If your baby seems tense all the time — or if they gape well on one side but not the other — it’s worth looking a little deeper.
Helping your baby relax and move more easily has benefits that go far beyond feeding. Supportive positioning and gentle movement can make a huge difference.
One of my favorite tools for tense babies is rhythmic movements, because they’re simple, effective, and feel good for both you and your baby.
Getting chin contact give the brain the cue to open wide.
Calm, relaxed babies can move their mouths more easily
Tense babies have a much harder time opening wide to latch.
And if your baby is well-positioned, you’ve given them time, and they’re calm — yet they still don’t gape? That points to one final barrier. Let’s look at what it means when the reflex itself isn’t firing.
Barrier 4: The Reflex Isn’t Firing
First, let’s talk about what it doesn’t mean when your baby doesn’t respond to a chin-based cue: it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your baby.
Babies who are born early, had a prolonged or difficult birth, or who simply haven’t used the reflex much during feeding may just need extra help to get it back online.
I’ve worked with babies who weren’t opening at all — and within just a week of using the right exercise, they were gaping wide and feeding more comfortably. I even teach this exact approach to other professionals, because it consistently works in real life.
The good news? Reflexes are always there — even if your baby isn’t a newborn anymore.
Think of a reflex like knocking on a door when the person answering is all the way down in the basement. It may take them a little longer to get to the door — but they are home.
With the right kind of gentle exercise, you can help your baby’s brain “open that door” more quickly. Once the reflex starts firing consistently, latching feels better — easier for your baby, and so much less stressful for you.
Want to learn the exact gaping reflex exercise I teach families to rebuild the reflex when it isn’t firing? You’ll find the step-by-step details right here inside my Expanded Access Library 🔒.
Your Next Step to Deeper Latching
At this point, you know more about why your baby isn’t opening wide than most parents are ever told (and more than many professionals are ever taught).
You’ve learned the cue that helps babies gape, and the most common barriers that can get in the way. If your baby could open wide easily to get a deep latch, they would — and now you have the understanding to start exploring what might be holding them back.
And you know that if this is hard for you or your baby, there’s a reason — and the reason isn’t that you’re doing it wrong or not good enough.
It simply means you’re missing the right piece of information or the right kind of support to make it easier.
Each time you pause, notice, and adjust, you’re building the skills and confidence you need to make feeding feel better.
You can do this. One latch at a time.
If you’re ready to keep exploring, here are a few more resources that can help — whether you want more context or you’re ready to go deeper into solutions.
Live videos. Deeper answers. More Resources to Help.
🔒 Expanded Access has the resources and live support you need when the standard latching and feeding advice falls short — with solutions made for real babies, real bodies, and real struggles.
Babies actually keep their gaping reflex for a long time. I’ve seen it triggered in babies close to a year old—so if you’re wondering whether it’s too late, it’s not.
That said, things do shift as babies get older. After about 4 months, babies become more aware of their surroundings and start making more intentional choices, which can make reflex-based support a little trickier.
But for babies under 3 months? It’s usually very easy to trigger a reflexive gape—especially when you know what to look for and how to support it.
If you haven't been using the gaping reflex to help your baby open, the connection between their brain and those muscles can just be weaker, but you can still work on it.
You can actually build the reflex outside of feeding first, and then you can use it during feeding to help your baby open wider to get a deeper latch.
Here's a blog I have that shows you how I teach this in my practice.
The best position is the one that works best with your body and your baby.
Your baby’s reflexes don’t change based on the position—they’re the same whether you’re using cradle, cross-cradle, football, or side-lying. What matters most is how you use the position.
No matter what position you choose, the key is getting your baby’s chin planted first and then giving them a second to open wide before they latch. That’s what sets their reflexes up to kick in—and that’s what leads to their best latch.
I’d love to hear from you! Share your thoughts, questions, or experiences below.
Meet the Author.
Hi there! I’m an IBCLC and educator with over twenty-five years of experience supporting families.
I built this space to share the kind of guidance I wish I had as a new parent—answers grounded in real-world experience, not guesswork. The kind that reflect real babies, real bodies, and the real challenges that don’t always fit the textbook.
Because when you understand why something is happening, it’s so much easier to feel confident about what to do next.
