If your baby suddenly starts refusing to breastfeed around 9 or 10 months, I want you to know this first: it is not your fault.

You didn’t do anything wrong to get here. Your baby’s refusal doesn’t mean you have ruined breastfeeding, and it doesn’t mean your baby has decided they’re done nursing forever.

Why This Age Feels Tricky

A sudden refusal can feel like a big rejection, especially when you’ve been feeding your baby for months. But when a baby who has been nursing suddenly refuses, it may be a nursing strike. That’s different from gradually weaning over time. A baby who suddenly refuses to nurse may still return to breastfeeding; a sudden change doesn’t automatically mean they’re ready to wean.^[1]

At 9 or 10 months, your baby may look as if they no longer want to breastfeed. They may be choosing a bottle because it feels easier or more familiar, or because feeding that way works better for them in that moment. Your baby may also refuse because they’re uncomfortable or not feeling well. A stuffy nose, sore mouth, earache, teething, stress, or a change in routine can affect how feeding feels.^[2]

Knowing that this kind of problem can happen doesn’t make it easy, but it can help you see the refusal as information about what your baby is comfortable with right now—not proof that you’ve done something wrong.

Look at the Whole Picture

A nursing strike can also be a reason to pause and look at how your baby is feeding overall. Refusing the breast on its own doesn’t mean your baby has an oral function issue. But if feeding has been difficult in other ways, it may be worth taking a closer look.

Notice what happens at the breast, with a bottle, and as your baby explores solid foods. Do feeds seem comfortable and coordinated? Does your baby often lose milk or food from their mouth, cough or gag during feeds, seem to tire quickly, or struggle as food textures change? These signs don’t tell you what the cause is, but they can help you decide whether to ask for a feeding assessment.^[3]

An IBCLC can observe breastfeeding and help you consider what support may be useful. Your baby’s health care provider can help assess medical concerns and refer you to a feeding specialist, such as a speech-language pathologist with infant feeding experience, when appropriate. The goal is to understand how feeding is working for your baby—not to assume that a refusal automatically means there’s a problem with their mouth or tongue.

Keep Offers Low Pressure

You won’t get through a refusal period by forcing your baby to feed.

If you feel frustrated or desperate and find yourself wanting to push your baby to latch, pause. You’re allowed to feel upset. You’re allowed to need a break. But pressure can make feeding feel harder for both of you.

Keep nursing low demand: offer, but don’t expect. If your baby turns away or pushes you away, that means “no for now.” Stop and comfort them. You can try again another time. The goal is to make feeding feel safe and pleasant, not to win a struggle. Keeping nursing pleasant and comforting your baby if they become upset are common suggestions for navigating a nursing strike.^[1]

A strike may become weaning if breastfeeding stops being offered, but continuing to offer doesn’t guarantee your baby will return to nursing. It gives them the chance to say yes when they’re ready. You can keep the door open without pushing them through it.

Try a Sleepy Feed

Some babies who refuse to nurse during the day will nurse when they’re sleepy or at night. When they’re relaxed, they may be more willing to latch and feed.

If your baby does nurse at night, that can be a helpful opportunity to practice using their nursing muscles and remove milk. You can keep offering at other calm times, too. Every baby is different, so a sleepy feed may help some babies and not others.

If your baby refuses to nurse in the middle of the night and prefers a bottle, give your baby a bottle. You can keep offering breastfeeding at other times. If your baby gets upset when you offer, stop and comfort them. You’re looking for a moment that feels easy for both of you, not trying to sneak in a feed.

Find an Easier Moment

You don’t have to offer only when your baby is very hungry or already upset. Try offering at a calm time when your baby is relaxed and you’re both comfortable.

For some families, that might be first thing in the morning, when a baby has just woken up and is still cuddly. For others, it might be before bed, when the baby is getting sleepy. There isn’t one perfect time that works for every baby.

You can also offer after giving a bottle, if that feels comfortable for both of you. The point is not to trick your baby into nursing. It’s to make an offer when feeding together feels easy and low pressure.

If your baby refuses, you can say, “Okay,” feed them another way, and move on. You can offer again later. A refusal today doesn’t tell you what your baby will choose tomorrow.

Keep Connection in the Picture

Feeding is about more than calories. It’s also a way to be close to your baby. And breastfeeding isn’t the only way to stay connected.

Hold your baby, cuddle them, talk, play, and respond to their cues. You can offer breastfeeding when it feels right without making every refusal carry a bigger meaning about your relationship.

Try not to take the refusal personally. It can feel like rejection, but your baby isn’t rejecting you. They’re communicating what they want in that moment.

Keep Removing Milk

If your baby isn’t removing milk, you may need to remove milk to support your supply. You could pump around the time your baby usually nurses, especially if keeping your current milk production is important to you.

Milk production responds to milk removal, though the effect of dropping one feed varies from person to person. Pumping as often as your baby normally drinks milk can help your body make a similar amount. If you’re unsure how much milk removal you need, an IBCLC can help you make a plan that fits your situation.^[4]

If you’re comfortable with your supply possibly changing, you may decide to drop that overnight pumping session. You might notice a change in how much milk you make. You get to decide whether that change is something you want to prevent, work around, or accept.

If you make just enough milk for your baby and maintaining that amount is important to you, you may decide to replace the missed night feed with a pumping session. That can help keep milk removal closer to your usual pattern, though individual responses vary.

There isn’t one right choice for every parent. Your goals, your baby’s growth and feeding, and how pumping affects your sleep and well-being all matter.

Keep Milk in the Plan

At 9 or 10 months, babies are learning to eat more solid foods, but they still need breast milk or infant formula. Solid foods are complementary: they add to milk feeds rather than replacing them. Breast milk or infant formula should remain part of your baby’s diet until at least 12 months.^[5]

If your baby is refusing breastfeeds, think about how they are getting milk overall. They may take expressed breast milk or infant formula by bottle or another feeding method your care team has recommended. Don’t assume that solid foods alone will make up for a big drop in milk intake.

If your baby is taking much less milk than usual, has fewer wet diapers, seems unusually sleepy or unwell, or you have concerns about weight gain, contact your baby’s health care provider.

The Bottom Line

There may be a reason your baby is refusing. They may be uncomfortable, distracted, or preferring a bottle in that moment. Sometimes it takes a little detective work to figure out what changed.

But the refusal itself is not proof that you did something wrong. You can feed your baby, protect your own well-being, and keep offering breastfeeding in ways that feel good for both of you.

Most nursing strikes are temporary, though every baby and situation is different. Keep it low stress, keep offering when it feels right, and take it one offer at a time. This is one of the bumps in the road, not a sign that nursing is done forever.^[1]

When to Get Support

Contact your baby’s health care provider if your baby is taking much less milk than usual, has fewer wet diapers, seems unusually sleepy or unwell, or you have concerns about weight gain. If feeding feels difficult, stressful, painful, or confusing, an IBCLC or other feeding specialist can help look at the bigger picture of your baby’s feeding.

Sources

1. La Leche League International. “Nursing Strike: Common Causes & How to Overcome Them.”
2. Mayo Clinic. “Breastfeeding strike: Why do babies refuse to nurse?”
3. American Speech-Language-Hearing Association. “Pediatric Feeding and Swallowing.”
4. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Pumping Breast Milk.”
5. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Foods and Drinks for 6 to 24 Month Olds.”