Newborn Not Opening Mouth Wide Enough? Here’s What Helps.

If you’ve read my blog post about how to get a baby to open wide—but you have a newborn and it feels way harder—you’re not imagining it. It is harder. Because while babies aren’t exactly known for being helpful, newborns are in a league of their own when it comes to unpredictability.

Sometimes they wake up screaming. Other times you have to strip them down and run cold water on their feet just to get them to wake up enough to feed.

So if you’re sitting there thinking, “Cool, but what about my baby?”—this blog is for you.

Let’s talk through the key differences when it comes to helping a newborn open wide to latch, so you know what to try—and how to get your baby the best latch possible from the start.

(And if you haven’t read the post on what to do when a baby won’t open wide, you can read it right here first—it gives you the full context this post builds on.)

Start With What Your Baby Can Do

At the core, helping a newborn open wide is just like helping an older baby. All babies have the same reflexes, and newborns are born with the ability to latch and feed.

In fact, one of the most surprising things about newborns is how capable they truly are. And your role with a newborn is exactly the same as it is with any age baby—your job is to position your baby and support them so they can use their reflexes as much as possible.

Newborns are often better at latching reflexively than older babies—because their reflexes haven’t yet been disrupted by all the ways we (with the best of intentions) try to help.

So start by assuming your baby can do it—and step in only when they show you they need more support. You can even start with your baby on your chest and let them move down to latch on their own.

A lot of people want to let their baby self-attach after birth (because it's amazing to watch and experience), and if something prevents that from happening it can feel so disappointing.

The good news is that the "golden hour" right after birth isn’t the only time your baby can move to feed. It’s just the first (and often the only) time we let them.

Start with the belief that your baby is reflexively capable—and offer more support only if they show you they need it.

Positioning Still Matters

Positioning is absolutely key with newborns. You want your baby’s chin to be the first thing that makes contact with your body—and you want to wait for a wide-open mouth before the nipple touches their lips. That’s what triggers the reflexes that lead to a deep, more comfortable latch.

If you were taught to stroke your nipple down your baby’s lips and quickly pop it in as soon as they open—even if it felt rushed or awkward—you’re not doing anything wrong. That approach is just really common in hospitals, and for many babies, it doesn’t give their reflexes time to work. It often leads to a shallow latch that hurts.

If you're not sure how to position your baby to get that wide opening, this blog walks you through the steps and links out to more latching resources. The same strategies work with newborns—you just might need to move slower or offer a bit more support for their body until they get a bit more tone for feeding.

Newborns Can Be Super Sleepy

In the first few days, it can be hard to tell the difference between a full, satisfied baby and one who is just hard to wake. And this can make getting them to open wide really tricky.

Opening wide is a feeding reflex—so a baby will only show that reflex if they’re in a feedable state. And when they’re deeply asleep, they’re clearly not in that state.

So, then you try to wake them up to feed… and that’s hard. And by the time they’re finally awake, they’re screaming bloody murder, and it’s been maybe three hours since their last feed—and that’s terrifying.

So baby is stressed, you’re frantic, and you just put your nipple straight into their mouth like it’s a dartboard and your nipple is aiming for the bullseye.

And if you did that? Way to go. You fed your baby. You did it just right.

But if it hurt you in the process… that’s probably why. Getting them to open wide is your pathway to better feeding.

But how can I do it differently?

The easiest thing you can do is to try to feed your baby before they wake up frantic—or before you get frantic because it’s been too long.

Avoiding franticness, as often as we can, is generally a good strategy.

One of my favorite tips for brand new parents is to let your baby finish their naps on your body. Unswaddle them, and put them skin-to-skin on you or another caregiver.

Why is this my favorite for new families?

Well. I’m glad you asked. Aside from just being able to inhale the presence of your new baby, being skin-to-skin does so many incredible things:

Your baby’s nervous system is designed to be regulated by yours. So if they’re on your body, they’re much less likely to wake up screaming. Your body is truly their natural habitat.

Unswaddling generally causes babies to wake up earlier—and when you’re walking the line between fully asleep and fully screaming, waking earlier gives you time to position them, cue their reflexes, and let those reflexes work before everything unravels.

When your baby is skin-to-skin with you, it’s so much easier to catch those early moments when they’re feedable. They’ll bob around like a chicken hunting for food and may even fling or move toward your nipple. Reflexes in action.

All of these help your baby be ready to feed without being frantic. They open wide more easily—and everyone wins.

Expert tip: You don’t have to wait for naps to finish. You can let your baby nap on your chest, unswaddled, as often as you want. To help them finish a nap skin-to-skin, simply unswaddle them after about 2 hours (or earlier if naps are shorter) and place them on your chest, so that their skin is making as much contact with your skin as possible. It’s really that simple.

Aim for the Best Latch You Can

Every latch doesn’t have to be perfect. In fact, it never will be—and that’s okay. That’s just part of the process.

But when you can—when things are calm—giving your baby the space to use their reflexes is what helps them get better at latching.

Every time a reflex kicks in, the muscles involved get a little stronger, and the connection between their body and brain grows more coordinated. That’s what makes feeding feel easier over time.

They don’t have to get it right every time. But the more chances they get to practice reflexively, the more confident you’ll both become—and the more likely it is that you’ll be able to feed comfortably anywhere, anytime.

Just a quick aside while we’re here: nipple damage can happen fast in the early days. A few painful feeds in a row can leave you sore or injured.

If latching is hurting, or you’re noticing visible damage, watch the full-length latching video linked above—and consider checking in with a lactation consultant sooner rather than later. Small problems can turn into bigger ones quickly, and the earlier you catch them, the easier it is to get back on track.

Some Newborns Need Extra Support

While I talk a lot about how capable newborns are, sometimes babies need a bit of time after birth for their reflexes to be coordinated enough to latch without help.

This is especially true for babies born a little early—even if they’re technically full-term. If your baby struggles to latch, that may be a sign their reflexes aren’t fully online yet. And that’s okay. It just means they might need more support from you until their brain catches up.

These babies often open their mouths, but act like they don’t know what to do once the nipple enters, because their brain doesn't know what to do. The reflexes that should tell them what to do just aren’t fully active yet.

This is where a skilled lactation consultant can make all the difference. They can show you how to support your baby in a way that’s right for their development—and help give their reflexes the practice and time they need to come online.

When Feeding Still Feels Hard

The early days of feeding and taking care of a newborn is an entirely new category of overwhelming. And if it feels like you don't know what you’re doing... it's because you probably don't.

Yet.

And it's OK. Nobody knows what they’re doing at first. We all learn it the same way—by figuring it out as we go. That’s what parenthood really is, and your baby is just giving you a crash course in experiencing that feeling in real time.

Luckily, newborns are resilient and they have reflexes that can help guide the way.

You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re just in the middle of learning—and you’re doing better than you think.

If your baby is feeding well most of the time, gaining weight, and things are getting easier—not harder—then you’re right on track.

And if they’re not? That’s okay too. Reach out. The right support can make all the difference.